I witnessed one of the most remarkable speeches today on a local college campus. There are political campaigns with stump speeches which drone on with mundane promises stirring nothing but bowel movements, and then there's Michael Caldwell, unlikely candidate for President of these United States, promising to build a fence around Oklahoma and raise their tax rate to 85% while giving the rest of the country a free ride. Speaking of free, the lines about freedom lifted right out of Mel Gibson's Braveheart were inspiring. Obama couldn't have delivered them better. Who needs an expensive speech writer when dozens of cool speeches are already out on the web, ready to be surfed up. And who needs pricey signs and balloons. Buy the hearts and minds of the people with free candy bars and a $25 gas card.
He may only be 20 years old, but since when has Constitutional limits stopped anyone yet from reaching their political potential? Term limits? We won't need 'em after his coronation. Michael Caldwell, a lone, clear voice amidst the din of political pestilence. Michael Caldwell, a young man who needs our help, and an Armani suit. Michael Caldwell, taking the poly out of polyticks and giving the rest to the dogs.
Yeah, Michael Caldwell and Brett Kelsey. After they're elected, every man gets a government issue reciprocating saw. (Take it from me, you had to be there.)
Thursday, October 16